The Joys of Littering

My time spent living abroad has been full of all kinds of culture shock, enlightening experiences, linguistic challenges and interesting observations in lifestyle differences... including littering, of course.

The second time I lived in Spain I was in Jaén, in the south of Spain.  Jaén's streets were pretty much a trash bin. Well, not only a trash bin, but a doggie toilet, too. You couldn't walk without fixing your point of view downwards. If you got distracted by some window display or hottie walking past and strayed your concentration for a second, your shoe was usually covered in dog-doo by the time you got back to looking at the concrete again. I will never, ever (can I specify that I will never) forget a time when I saw a couple of girls, around my age, walking down the street with a bag of chips. (I think they were ketchup flavored. Yuck.) As one of them emptied the bag and licked her fingers in satisfaction, she simply dropped the bag. Dropped it. It slowly drifted down onto the sidewalk... and the girl never looked back to see where it landed. Not even a glimpse of shame or guilt appeared in her face. She just kept on walking. Three years later, I can still remember exactly how it all went down- and it still baffles me to this day.

I now live on the opposite end of the country in Oviedo, and it's is a few steps ahead of Jaén in poopy terms. Here you don't have to look down while you walk, which is quite convenient if I do say so myself. You can look in absolutely any direction you want (only if your umbrella isn't blocking your view, that is). Owners proudly pick up their dogs shit... it's great. I have yet to see anyone blatantly drop garbage onto their city's streets during daylight hours. Now, all of this changes if you have to pee. Ahh, yes. There is nothing like seeing parents train their kids to pee in public. I have to say I'm not proud to find myself entertained by a mother turning herself into a human toilet. Lets see if I can explain this strange situation... mom picks up her daughter under her knees, puts her back to her belly, making her little one look like she's hanging through a basketball hoop that is her mother's arms. And, the effect is her pee shooting out directly in front of them. On a street corner. In broad daylight. All the time.  And of course boys just whip it out and go anywhere. Forget the whole, "Shut up and HOLD IT!" thing. Here, if you've gotta go, you've gotta go, and it doesn't quite matter where.

Unfortunately, this phenomenon isn't only limited to children... Surprise, surprise, what you learn as a child tends to cross over into adulthood... There is nothing like seeing the streets of the Old Quarter flowing with rivers of piss on the weekends. One street in particular stinks so bad you can't breathe and walk by at the same time. It's as if bathrooms don't exist, and any corner turns into a public bathroom.

Piss aside, the Old Quarter, during warmer and less rainier seasons, turns into a garbage bin on the weekends. Botellón, bringing your own bottles of alcohol and pop to drink in the street with your friends, ruins the image of the most beautiful part of this city every weekend it's even a little nice out... At 6am it looks like a tornado passed directly through a bar and spit all the garbage and broken glass all over the main streets of the city. It's absolutely disgusting, to say the least. I am the first to admit that I used to love botellón. I participated freely and happily when living in Jaén. It was cheaper, and, in the end, more fun than going into any bar. But that doesn´t mean it's nice to see so much shit lying around the city. And that doesn´t mean that it´s a Spanish habit that maybe needs to change. All I know is that Woody Allen might take back his famous quote about this city if he saw the garbage and piss filled streets on any given Saturday night. 

                                                                                                                                                                   

In the words of Woody, 
"A delicious, exotic, beautiful, clean, pleasant, tranquil and pedestrianised city. 

It is as if it didn't belong to this world. Oviedo is like a fairy tale."

Woody is a huge supporter of Oviedo, he's got a statue of himself in the center of the city and even turns up in tourism ads for Asturias. One of his favorite things about this city is it's cleanliness. But, Woody's not the only one who has been dooped into believe that Oviedo is a pristine, sparkling city. Oviedo is actually known as being one of the cleanest cities in Spain and even won a prize for being the cleanest city in Europe not too long ago. How do they trick everyone into believing it? They clean the streets 24/7. People in orange jump suits walk the streets all day with a portable garbage can and a broom in hand- sweeping away. Huge cleaning car machines, which I still don't understand how they work, circulate the streets a million times a day. You drop a cigarette butt? Don't worry, in 2.5 seconds someone else has already cleaned up after you. Like to drink in the streets at night, throwing your garbage around and breaking bottles? Don't worry, the government will spend it's excess amounts of money to clean up after you on Sunday morning. Want to eat lunch on the beach during the summer and leave all your garbage behind? Unfortunately, no one cleans up the beaches here... but since you're used to people picking up your garbage all the time, you don't realize you're ruining your own beaches... It's like there's a little piece of social cleanliness and responsibility missing here...

                                                                                                                                                                   

When my parents and brother came to visit last summer, we had a couple of interesting encounters with the phenomenons that are littering and peeing. One Saturday my brother and I went to a beach party in Salinas, a village about half an hour from Gijon, where I was living at the time. We were walking around, drinking and watching a concert that was going on. Phil, with an empty beer in hand, looked at me innocently and asked, "Umm... where should I throw this away? I don't see any garbage bins." He turned his head one way and another to search for a trash bin, only to realize that there was junk all over the sidewalks and cluttering the streets. "Wait, can I really throw this on the ground?" He asked innocently. "Well, yep. It's normal here." He dramatically dropped his jaw, stuck his arm out in front of him, and slowly let his fingers relax as he watched the beer can drop to the floor in awe. "That felt so weird," he claimed. 

On a different weekend night, we were out and about, walking around, the four of us. My dad commented in disgust about the pee filled streets... "How can Spain expect their economy to function well if their own people pee on their own city and their own country? There's no respect." 

Hmm, the wise has spoken... Solution? Is there one? I think that if the government stopped cleaning up after botellón on the weekends people just might stop. Or a civil war might break out. Both are completely possible outcomes. As for everyone being accustomed to littering? All you have to do is start sending out a fine or two for littering and, and that just might help with the problem, too. All I know is man, it´s a shame to smell so much piss all the time.